I hear you.
These TED talks end in hope.
If you're anything like me you'll think that's cheating. However, the successful suicide rarely gets to speak at TED conferences.
And really, what are the survivors supposed to say, that it'll go away for a while and then it'll come back and you'll hate yourself for hoping it was gone forever?
Are they supposed to say maybe tomorrow you'll think hope is a kind of poison and that it hurts and hurts and hurts and you can't scream because you feel stupid, like you're an attention whore, or something?
Are they supposed to say that the loneliness, and those feelings of being left out and useless and worthless and friendless and alienated and being a burden -- that they are, while somewhat exaggerated, a not totally inaccurate assessment of reality?
That it's just that when you feel better it doesn't matter that much?
They can't say that. You know that.
But before they get to the happy ending it's the real deal, and maybe you can watch it and the hope will stick and guide you through the dips and the valleys and the canyons and maybe even into the abyss and lead you right back out into the sunlight.
Andrew Solomon: Depression, the secret we share
Kevin Breel: Confessions of a depressed comic
JD Schramm: Break the silence for suicide attempt survivors
Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability
Sherwin Nuland: How electroshock therapy changed me
Amy Cuddy: Your body language shapes who you are
Yours sincerely, The Evil Albino.