I feel better. I freaked my therapist and my doc out, which seems fair since I was freaking out.
I had dinner with Don Monday. I was reluctant to go. That's an underunderstatement. If i could have built a physical fence I would have. I accepted a lift and then perked up enough to suggest dinner.
Tuesday's a bit hazy… Maybe the dinner was yesterday, and it's Monday that's hazy. I am not sure.
This morning I weighted in at 153 lbs. It threw me off. I am smaller but not well proportioned.
It's a quarter to midnight. I am having trouble thinking. It's what Lorazepam does to you. Muddles your mind, makes it hard to focus on the iPhone keyboard.
Sent a long message to Frank. I said it all. I just wish I wouldn't have those angry monologues in my head about possible inane comebacks from him. I am been extra obsessive about him saying that I so very, very selfish and self absorbed. I am pretty sure a I have enough sharpened responses to arm a small army of thugs preferring sharp things to guns.
Over and out.