2013-03-07

The Walking Dead

First off, what's up with the missing cultural references? Why "walkers" and not zombies?



It's sci fi, so I'll watch it a little while longer, but the characters are ridiculous.



We have the women who are settling in, doing laundry and laughing like some caricatures of cheerful, harmless third world women.



Why the fuck wouldn't they jerry-rig a laundry machine, fill it with water turn the drum by hand? What's with the scrubbing on a washing boards? Why even bother washing? With so many dead there has got to be an endless amount of clothes.



How did they even survive before they were domesticated into doing the washing for the guys with the guns and the axes? Did they flutter their eyelashes and flash cleavage at the zombies? Did they whimper in a closet until a man happened by that could be seduced into providing protection (and then, when husbands appear, discarded and evil slutty ways denied)?



Only one of the women seems interested in practical survival, that is, forage for food and kill zombies, and she is getting shit for not wanting to do the washing. She just wants to be out there "with the men".



We have the little Asian dude that can run really fast. Unfortunately the show does not live up to the promise of "yes, you, the dumbass in the tank".



We have the somewhat overweight, mostly good natured, black dude that appears to be sitting out all story lines that are not directly related to racism. There is sure to be something about food too, like in Lost. Why else would you have a single character who is not rail thin?



We had the old dude, who refused to upgrade his camper van -- which the group is still hanging on to! -- despite it being a death trap and likely to break down in a mob of hungry zombies (again). Why? It can't be the downpayment. How do these people stay alive if they are too stupid to get reliable transportation?

Wouldn't it have been neat if the old guy had died for this oversight and the group had learned a lesson instead of having a tearful moment reviving the piece of crap?



We had Shane who, before he could be killed off, appeared to be hearing voices and going cra-azy. Presumingly to explain his relentless jealously and violence and his decision to murder the main character.



I saved the best for last, the main character, the only person with a semi complex personality, hard but fair, silent but dedicated, driven by an impeccable moral compass and suitably tortured when forced off course.



Who am I supposed to relate to? The inane and totally irrational and wily laundry washers, T dog, the woman who gets shit for not doing the laundry (I bet she pops off on a regular basis for a good looting of underwear and frilly bras), the kid who is now totally a man because his dad told him his childhood is over and gave him a gun, the Asian guy who gets exhilarated (just like a geek!) by a nice swing of the axe? The stoic but, you know, deep, but still simple and down to earth, main character?



God it's crap.

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