What I wanted to get to in my previous post, and somehow forgot, is that no one actually talks to anyone else. The I am an island and everyone else a potential invader attitude is extremely consistent. You're your own best and only counsel whether you're deciding to invade another country or trying to figure out what to do about someone pinching your ass.
Perrin has an extended rift with his wife Faile, and the despite not knowing what's going on he doesn't ask, and neither does she.
This stuff is so common-place that it's considered normal. It's the whole men are from Mars and women are from Venus thing; men and women are so dissimilar they can't hope of ever understanding each other. This axiom makes it impossible to even try. You may as well question why the sky is blue.
Men and women dance around each other and apparently are quite delighted watching others do it too. They slap each others backs and grins and tells each other stories of how they tamed or were tamed by their spouses. Soulmate is the person who loves you without understanding and is willing to go on the roller coaster with you.