- There is no such things a relationship karma; it doesn't matter if you never make excuses, when you do squeeze in a "I wasn't feeling well" you're suddenly olympic champion of blame evasion.
- There is no credit either; you can't count of previous behavior counting towards the current argument. You're the bitch from hell, no matter how many times you've declared your ever lasting fixation, respect and friendship.
- Intention and actions don't matter, only perception.
EDIT (ten minutes after posting): So, Frank's not on IM and he conceded our WWF, but he is still my friend on FB. I know what you're thinking and I have already thought it all. Go away.
Some other thoughts:
I may need to consider lack of sleep as a contributor to my inability to concentrate and mood instability. Since I switched from Ritalin to half Ritalin and half Concerta (extended release Ritalin), I haven't gotten to sleep before 1 am and hetting up at 7 AM, except this morning when I got up at 5:30. Going on two, three, four(??) weeks now. I need to switch to more Ritalin and less Concerta and see if that helps.
Preparing for a colonoscopy sucks. Do you have any idea how much laxative is involved? Trying to keep up with fluids is, well, hard. On the bright side it seems to actually work this time. The last colon cleansing (yeah, that's a real thing your real doctor can make you do, for realz) involving 28 daily doses of Miralax and 128 ounces of fluid definitely didn't cleanse the colon. My colon is a hoarder. There is probably still bread from when I was 15 in there.
I loose shit (hahahahahahah ahahha, that's funny because of the constipation, see), and then I spend a lot of time obsessively searching for things. I have missed so many trains, not made into work until lunch, or at all, so many times. So, I've come up with systems, particular things in particular places. Ingenius. For example, I glued a bowl to the top of my computer monitor for my computer glasses, and tied a lens cloth to the monitor foot. Lens cloth? Check! Glasses? Frown. Where are the fucking glasses? Not in bowl, not on desk, not in bathroom, not on night table, not under night table, not in night table, not under bed, not among bed clothes, still not on desk or in bathroom or on bathroom floor... Systems are useless if you can't remember them. Must Stop Looking and sit my ass down and get some work done.
So, instead of working I am writing this. And also:
If you have lost your carefully crafted blog entries to the iPhone app BlogPress (NOOOOOOOO! don't change orientation!!!) you should know that if you click Settings (third icon at the bottom), scroll down to Support, and click Auto Saved Files, you'll find a long list of drafts and if you can't find your version in the first or second or tenth draft, just keep going. Just because your changes were lost 2 seconds ago doesn't mean there isn't a more complete version from ten minutes ago then the, yeah I know, BLANK, version you're staring at now.