Since I can remember I have waited for inspiration to get me through the tough stuff. I never learned to push through, to work hard. I just put things off until it felt good. So I find myself here, a disappointment to myself if not my parents. I am still the nobody I was when I acquired that sense of entitlement. Somehow I picked up this idea that I was smart, special, that I'd do great things. Well, I find myself here, knocking on forty 's door having accomplished nothing. I didn't have enough inspired moments to become good at anything, and I never figured out how to work hard.
A lifetime of bad movies and books have me waiting for that life changing moment that'll make me realize what my priorities are, but there won't be any. Perhaps it's not too late to learn how to work hard. Perhaps if I sink my teeth into this life of mine I can make it produce some satisfaction. But how do I make myself remember why I don't want to let go?