sunshine is sneaking in through the slats
last night and the night before
drivers rattle by, hurrying to work
my innards remember
there has been no accidents on 101
not yet

is getting colder the meteorologist says
is moving forward by the minute
swish, swish, rattle, rattle, tap tap tap
the door is at the end of the hallway
the stairs lead down from the porch
not yet!

hold me
any minute now
the sound of a toothbrush against teeth
coffee milk and mint
I am not scared
of the motorcycle the that goes by, or the lorry
it's walking down the path, the theory of step by step
of rubber on gravel, of feet crushing leaves

I don't want
to go, I am afraid of
breath crushing my chest
too many chances to show I'm worth it
when I'm not
I'm not

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