I feel betrayed. I wanted love and here I am scraping
the bottom of the barrel. I'm pouring in the same slop
I'm scooping out.
I wanted closeness, but I am only ever envious of others'
embraces. My own end with three pats on the back, to
please let me go, that's enough.
I wanted tenderness too. I wanted to give it, and have it
returned. I feel betrayed. I gave. I did. But when I
had to watch only others receive, I gave up.