Need

And here we stand, hands unclenched, palms facing upwards, but not open, not receiving.

Needing.

We let go and let go and are made fools by the wisest of proverbs. We are limp with love so as not to demand but deserve.

Our cupped hands will never overflow. They would hold every last star, because such is our need.

And if we wait, if we turn our hands up are we not to blame for wanting the rain to fall? Surely we cannot expect it to just for wanting?

And if we stand here still, barely noticing those others, neglected, forgotten, looking to us to fill their empty hands, are we not just fulfilling our destiny, wanting what we cannot have, getting the algebra of blessings wrong all over again?

Inevitable, is the lie we tell ourselves, even though it hurts so much to fail at indifference.

Human nature is how we were betrayed and how we betray. No one will ever be responsible and there will be no apologies to be had.

Well, you know

It's all about me.

Being vulnerable

So, the weird thing about love.

It's simultaneously exalted and despised.

Love is the miracle healer of any and all ailments. It's the good that nullifies ALL the bad. It's what binds us together. All of humankind is strolling forward hand in hand lovingly guiding each other up and up toward the heights only love will make us strong enough to reach. It conquers all, eventually, don't ever give up!

And love is the undoer of dignity and respect. When unrequited it's not even love anymore. It's fixation, a pathetic inability to let go. Unhappy endings quickly wear out the ears of the most patient listener.

Even if you're lucky enough to find a willing receptacle you must temper your feelings, or else you're a simpering fool, the manipulatable tool of your desire.

So, there you are, a weak, pathetic idiot, hating yourself, the person you love and the people whose sighs and sneers you just can't bare, wanting to tear this stupid fucking glue of humankind out of your brain.

You don't want to bring everyone down with your childish, pathological obsession. Poems? Seriously, get a grip.

Have some pride, asshole, you're making people squirm with embarrassment.

You

I think about you. Sometimes it's been a week and suddenly you're trolling a clever thought. Recently, it has been less sudden; a chronic soreness that when prodded feels just like your skin.

And I take your hand and walk down that road. At the intersection we decide to head for the magnificent corniness of the sunset. While our shadows grow longer we come together, finally, in the beauty and loss and inevitability of endings.

And I let myself look up, your face is a mask and your posture rigid, Lonelily, I go to a bar. I get a beer and flip off the need to exist with my Kindle. Your clique is right behind me, the noise changes. We watch the way your proxy's shoulders don't move as he steps toward me; he means to cut me down and I trip him before he gets close enough. The cacophony of the claque is ear splitting: I am unhinged, paranoid, crazy. Bemused by the drama I look at you indifferently. I limp a little, as I walk away.

And I let you take shape in front of me. The distance between us changes. It expends and contracts like a rubber band. Heat builds, we relearn forgotten features, the color of your skin, the color of mine. The moment petrifies just as tendrils of desire start enveloping us. It becomes a monument to forever after, a thought unthinkable, an exquisite work in marble where the jagged edges have been softened by water and sand.

The principle of the thing 2

Now women's only hours at the gym and women's only gyms for that matter could fall into both categories, really.

Some women are frightened of men. They have been harassed or know someone who has. Some women have religious beliefs that does nor allow them to do certain things where men are present.

Gyms are traditionally male environments. They are adapted for men. A gym for women might have smaller weights and smaller weight increments.

There is, of course, a larger issue of gender identity and sex here. It's always troublesome and somewhat unproductive to divide people up along hard lines. That doesn't make women only gyms illegitimate, it makes gyms catering to specific groups important.

Men get harassed too. Men too feel the pressure of adhering to ideals of physical beauty. Men too get eating disorders, men too feel insecure and judged and stuff.

But again that doesn't make women's concerns and gyms illegitimate. Nor does it change the fact that women get raped, harassed and are discriminated against by men at a considerably higher degree than men by women.

If are things were equal, salaries, opportunities, boards, objectification, victimization, then some men's suffering would be relevant, but it's not so it's not.

Lloyd might be uncomfortable at the thought of a gay man checking out his package, but that's just homophobia. Even if Lloyd has been raped or harassed by a woman, he still can't dismiss women's fear. He could ask the gym for men's only hours. That'd be fair.

He could ask that greater attention is paid to men and boys with eating disorders. He could ask that all men, regardless or sexual orientation, gender identity, ethnicity, political and religious conviction be treated equally and with consideration and respect. He's not though, is he? He is just asking that women be forced to work out with men, because women's insecurities are women's problem and somehow a man up world makes it better for everyone.

Removing a particular group of people from a particular context is not fair to all other groups nor does it ensure that the environment for the included group is safe or, in this case, devoid of sexuality. That doesn't make exclusiveness unjustifiable. It's not the principle of the thing at all, you see, it's about who is removed from where and why. If you belong to a privileged group you'll find that efforts to make the world a better place might strip you of some of your privileges. Sucks, I know. It's a bigger picture thing.

Lloyd is a troll and he should be treated as one: stick him in the sun until he explodes.